February half-term is coming up and it's almost time for the ol' ski holidays! The only problem? It's almost time for everybody else's ski holidays, too! Busy airports, busy roads, busy lifts... sometimes it's hard to believe you've forked out all this money just to spend the whole week queuing! Here are some of the thoughts that flit through your head while you waste your time in yet another lift queue.
#1. Pffffffffff not another queue!
There's no getting around them. We all want to head to the same place - up - so if you want a chance of getting on the lift, you're going to have to queue. That doesn't mean you have to be happy about it, though!
#2. Eurgh, this person stinks!
Not everyone can smell as sweet as you do! Whether it's sweat, last night's alcohol or garlic breath, you've found yourself pressed right up against it as you struggle to get ahead in the queue. Nice!
#3. They're a bit of all right!
Who said queuing always had to be a bad thing? Skiers and snowboarders are an attractive bunch, if we do say so ourselves, so who among us hasn't taken the opportunity to check out the goodlucking guys and gals around us? If there IS an attractive person near you, work your way onto their chair and you'll have the whole way up to flirt with them. Here are some chat-up lines to get things started >
#4. Why did I take off my extra jumper?
We'll never understand why hotels and chalets are always so unbelievably warm. It lulls you into a false sense of security, and as you huff and puff your way outside laden with all your gear, you couldn't possibly imagine ever being cold. So you take your jumper off. And now you're stuck in the lift queue and you're freezing to death.
#5. What should I have for lunch today?
You've just finished the copious breakfast buffet at the hotel, but it's not too early to start thinking about lunch! Luckily we're spoiled for choice on the mountains. What about a schnitzel, finished off with a nice apple strudel? Or, read our article on the best après-ski dishes for inspiration!
#6. I really should have changed my lenses
It's a beautiful sunny day, not a cloud in the sky... and you can't see a thing, because you forgot to swap out your goggle lenses! Always check the weather report, folks.
#7. I could really use a drink
The rules don't work the same on a ski holiday - no need to wait until noon, it's perfectly socially acceptable to start drinking mid-morning. That is, of course, provided this queue starts moving a little faster so you can actually make it to the mountain restaurant.
#8. Hey, I have the same jacket!
It's so exciting to pick out a brand-new ski outfit. You'll be the best-dressed person on the slopes! Oops, except for that person, who has a matching jacket... damn. Oh well, you wore it better!
#9. How did I end up in this queue again?
Some ski resorts have signs indicating which lifts are the busiest, sometimes you can just see this for yourself, but somehow, you ended up in the longest queue again! How do you do it?
#10. When I finally get up there I'm taking the steepest black piste down
No better way to let out your frustration!
#11. It's so beautiful up on the mountains!
Ok, it sucks waiting in this queue, but there really are worse places to be. The air is crisp and clear, you've got a phenomenol view of the mountains and the slopes are waiting for you. Enjoy it while you can, because next week you'll be back in the ofice!
#12. Where will we head for après-ski?
The same place as yesterday, or will we try something new?
#13. %#&[email protected]!
You've been careful not to trod on anyone's skis or push your way through. But how is it that this person who started out behind you is now ahead of you?!
About Danielle
Born and raised in the ski paradise of Vancouver, Canada, I learned to ski before I can remember, balancing precariously on my parents’ skis as they sailed down the hill. I started snowboarding in my teens and am now delighted to be exploring everything Europe’s ski scene has to offer!