Ski holidays are invariably sprinkled with common phrases. From complaints about the difficulty of the slope, to arguments about which direction to take, these comments are to be expected and, indeed, it wouldn’t be a true ski holiday without them! How many of these have you caught you or your friends saying?
Everybody somehow managed to get out the door and down the street to the ski bus, when suddenly your friend pipes up, “Oops! I forgot my poles!” They rush back to the hotel and dash out the door, poles safely in hand... just in time to see the bus pull away from the kerb.
No matter how perfect the group, it’s very rare that everyone will ski at the same speed. Which are you, the skier that speeds on ahead and has to spend all day waiting for the slowpokes, or the poor devil who never gets a chance to catch your breath because every time you catch up with your group, they’re ready to start skiing again?
Waiting for slower skiers
Selfies have wormed their way into all spheres of life, including the once-sacred ski slope. Prepare to be stopped every few feet by someone brandishing a GoPro or a mobile phone, demanding a group selfie. And watch out for stationary amateur photographers on the slopes, lest you ruin their selfie with a giant crash.
It doesn’t only have to happen on the black runs: red and sometimes even blue pistes can inspire a feeling of terror in unsuspecting novice skiers who have been dragged there by their evil friends. Stay calm and ski on, practice makes perfect!
Mate, we’re all tired, not just you! And no, your boots are not more uncomfortable nor your skis heavier than mine. So suck it up and carry your own skis!
Nobody will carry your skis for you
The first people in your group are already so far ahead that you can no longer see them through the blizzarding snow when you take the left at a fork in the pistes. Unfortunately for you, everyone else has gone right, which means a long hike for you and a long wait for them!
Snowboarders especially will recognise the pain of hearing this warning too late. In the flat light your eyes can play tricks on you, and what looks like an innocuous slope is actually... is that going UPHILL?! Be prepared to hike...
“I must be a snowflake, because I just fell for you!” “Baby, you’re sweeter than this glühwein.” Dude, we’ve heard them all. You’ll have to come up with something better than that.
You were so eager to grab supper that you quickly chucked your skis on a random rack and rushed into the restaurant next to the ski piste – but now that you’re fed and watered (and perhaps several pints in), you’re feeling a bit blurry as to their exact location. Now, weren’t they next to that bright pair of powder skis? Did someone take your skis by accident?
Lost your skis again?
Enough said. Skiing and snowboarding are wonderful sports and we love them, but the ice on the skied-out pistes is treacherous. Remember, everyone always gets hurt on the last run of the day!
Born and raised in the ski paradise of Vancouver, Canada, I learned to ski before I can remember, balancing precariously on my parents’ skis as they sailed down the hill. I started snowboarding in my teens and am now delighted to be exploring everything Europe’s ski scene has to offer!
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