It just seems incredible that any sane person could be so fond of a sport that puts their body through such gruelling trials. From clunky, painful ski boots to severe hangovers and everything in between, our beloved winter sports of skiing and snowboarding are definitely not for the faint of heart. It goes without saying that we brave souls will continue putting up with it all in order to get our fix of glistening white mountains, fresh powder snow and pure adrenaline. But just for once, let’s all take a moment to acknowledge the harsh suffering we go through on a skiing or snowboarding holiday. #worthit
The hard plastic constricts your blood supply, making your toes fall asleep and turning the slightest of sock-creases into an agonising instrument of torture. Beginners need only attempt one or two steps before they, too, will realise the sadistic invention that is Ski Boots. Luckily, there is a fairly recent innovation that helps your feet be more comfortable and lets you get on with enjoying your day. It’s called Snowboard Boots.
Painful ski boots
If you thought ice skating was bad, try skiing and snowboarding. Going a million miles an hour through an icy blizzard only to spiral out of control and end up in a bruised mess of skis, boots and poles, you’ll finally appreciate the draw of quieter pastimes like curling or knitting.
The sting of rejection at après-ski
This one will have male skiers cringing – whoever invented the button lift must have been a female, right? Riding up with the lift squishing uncomfortably on places that were never meant to be squished... ouch. And that’s if you’re lucky enough not to wipe out in the first place.
Beware of loose objects, inadequate braking ability or clumsy people in general on the chairlift – and be doubly wary if any of these things apply to you. Getting on and off the lifts requires navigating such a myriad of hazards that it’s a wonder anybody manages to do it at all.
Successfully riding the chairlift
This is especially salient on the first ski holiday of the year, when you’ve not used your skiing and snowboarding muscles in ten long months. Happily, you can find solace throughout the season by enjoying the sight of the new skiers and snowboarders who overestimate their skills and give it all they’ve got, only to suffer severely for it the next day.
No, we don’t mean from falling on your head. Actually, it’s a (pseudo-) scientific fact that headaches on ski holidays are more frequently the result of après-ski sessions, after which you wake up with your head pounding. What’s your go-to cure for this common malady?
Headache from après-ski
Before lunch: Ha, I’m in better shape than I thought!
After lunch: Oh my god, I need a doctor. And a crane. Do they airlift people out of here?
After a long break and a nice hot meal, it’s hard to head back out into the elements. Even worse when your muscles seem to have solidified and you can barely walk, let alone ski or snowboard!
This one is for you, snowboarders. Beginners especially will know the pain of landing repeatedly on your bottom. How sadistic to invent a sport where both your feet are strapped tightly to a board! If you’re wise you’ll distribute the pain by alternately landing on your knees.
Pain in the a***
Skiing has a magnificent way of working seemingly every muscle in your body, meaning even your arms aren’t spared. But sore arms are worst in beginner snowboarders, who are constantly forced to push themselves back up after they fall again and again and again.
The hardest part of the ski holiday is saying goodbye! © Morzine Ski Chalets
Despite the physical trials and tribulations of your ski holiday, the hardest part is saying goodbye. You’ve called this mountain home for the last week and you’ll miss the delicious food, the snow-capped mountain peaks and the lively après-ski. If you can’t wait until next season for your next ski holiday, you can assuage the pain by visiting the Snowplaza website and reliving the ski holiday atmosphere!
Born and raised in the ski paradise of Vancouver, Canada, I learned to ski before I can remember, balancing precariously on my parents’ skis as they sailed down the hill. I started snowboarding in my teens and am now delighted to be exploring everything Europe’s ski scene has to offer!
|15 June||Mölltal Glacier to open for summer skiing this weekend|
|13 June||Expansion of world's first snowboard-only park|
|10 June||Ski resorts try snow farming to preserve snow over summer|